Waiting For Tse-wa

on Tuesday, October 12, 2010 at 9:32pm

The boy, who once shone like a diamond in the hope and dream of his parents, was lingering on the dirty dusty street of Delhi everyday pretending to be a person who pursues the golden path of education with the name of a college student to act upon.

Longing for such pure love which said to be only existed in the fairy land everyday he ,with a boiling stupid damn emotion within the deep down of his innocent heart, walks alone to the college and came back to the hostel . but never had that

rainbow like illusion painted deep sensation given him a single moment of relief and a space within which he could live in peace.

After having a great deal of painful

thoughts ,he started seeing ,with his eyes get closed, the true color of life.

Life, a sailing ship in the vast ocean( for many it is a stage for happiness a

nd for many others it is a novel contented with tragedy ), is all about choosing an answer to the perplexed multiple questions.

Many similar yet different multiple choice typed questions await people to choose an answer like a gang of sex workers impatiently looking for the customers to let them choose according to their desire .

But the sad part is everything can not be chosen all together at a precis

e moment in man’s life for everyone is not in a position, with his limited ability, to do so. the only choice left, therefore, is either chose one or the other.

Every choice people make in their

lives is painful in its all procession since people need to give in something at the very cost of giving up something else .and also it can be assured that every choice they make in their life time can not be guaranteed as the right one always.

The boy who made, not many, but some choice in his more than twenty years of existence in this planet. he often felt that the most painful and tragic choice he has to make in this miserable life

is of the choice between love and life.

One of his friends consoled him “ love is a sweet-sour flavor in human’s life. it,

therefore, is not something that can be created with stubbornness of stupidity and persistence but it is something else that needs to let it happen naturally instead.”

In a sort of response he replied “love is just a dew drop like transparent heart-feeling to let it fall on the petal of a fresh blooming rose of another heart .but verily it is not everyone’s cup of tea to let that transparent sensation to fall on one’s desired petal.”

He questioned “If everything is left in the divine hand of destiny ,is it possible can we catch hold of that invalua

ble three seconds?”

many of his friends get confused

when he did use the words “three seconds” and many others might also have get confused if they heard the same statement being made by him.

Just closing the tender eyes and let his head fall in his hands. He wonde

red what kind of a person did everyone expecting to share one’s joys and pain with and of how much confidence did they have to get the one whom they desired and dreamt over the years.

The person he does love with all his hearts ,probably or definitely, may not be the same person who love you en

ough in return. So, where on earth, he thought, people could find a destined love which mound up by the hands of destiny.

He could not ensure there was no such love called “destined love in this

world”.but he felt

That pure love, people dreams about it days and nights , seemed to get close people and disappear within 3 seconds before people could have grasped it with an awakening conscience.

That throbbing sensation of love may let people to live in at present precise moment and their conviction of the past and the dream of future appears out of place in their fascinated eyes. so , here a very tough question comesforth .

Would gonna choose your love by tracing the footstep of that beautiful sensation or that of your ambition and goal of life?

He, that lonely boy ,gave up his love for many reasons pressurized him to surrender all his will and desire.

One of his friends had many time scolded him“you are coward ,clumsy and delicate in any kind of your decision making process. everything in man’s life is all about struggle and competition. why don’t you fight to possess the girl whom you love with your heart”

He remained silence and waved his head vigorously. he said nothing but his heart raised the voice from within .

“it is not I do not want to fight but hardly can I hear an echo for the voice I have made in this vast desert. It is true i have given up the struggle to possess of her-being. but I have not given up my very sense of love . it still remained unpolluted and blossoming like water lily in my heart pond. this love and care carried-heart would remain in the same color and stand for her happiness in the most invisible and silent manner no matter how long it takes and no mater how far we depart each other. ”

His friend might have say “it is fucking damn to waste your time and energy for a worthless and empty love-sense.” if had he spoken the above sentences.

If had his friend made the exact above statement, he have had the ready made answer for that.

“to love someone is actually not necessary to possess somebody but rather to cherish somebody’s happiness with any cost. verily love is a broken piece of musical notes which does play on the rhythm of pain and tears and with which one can see the true color and beauty of life”

After many interaction , after many talk,

He felt silently that he was ,in a endless desert where can find no single sight of mountain ranges, hoping to hear an echo for the sound he made with his yelling heart.

But the fact remains as fact always so he had to accept that an echo of a love–sense only can be heard in the valley of another heart.

With this sense of realization, he made up his mind to miss her less even in his dream in order to focus more on his every learning fields and in order to live on the hope his ageing parents.

He knew that she would be lost from his hand and mind all together .but the dream of his love, he believed, would remain solid in the rest of his life the way soul used to attach the body.

Longing for her to show even a little sense of love and that of care in return had finally came to dead in his living –dying hope since he did see the fact that it is not applicable ,Newton’s scientific law,in every aspect of life.

The only choice ,therefore,left behind is to discharge his desperate and deserted deep-sense into the river and let it leave behind no painful memories on the bank of his snowy heart.

He did fully aware another fact “ the flower of love to be grown in the pot of friendship ,but waiting for the friendship in the garden of love sense is more like hoping for the rainbow in the freezing winter time.

Nevertheless, the only choice he had to make, with tears in heart ,is of “just give up”in the very end.

He ……..lastly hoped that time will gonna help to let him live like a man.

To be continued……………………………